What are friends anyway? People that you just hang out with randomly whenever they feel like it? Or people who might not even know you at all besides your name and the college your going to (since they have asked so many times)?
    Since summer has started, I've been doing nothing. This year no more spending my days yelling at kids, talking with the BCCC family, or going to museums and other places. All I've been doing lately is looking back on the years of high school. I constantly daydream about how nice my high school experience could've been if I did things differently. Like what if I became friends that I never talked to, or actually getting all my work done on time instead of spending the free before typing like crazy, or joined other clubs. Life could've been so different, outside and inside of school.
    I recently talked to a "friend" lately after not talking to him for a year. I've liked him for a while, the months before I stopped talking to him. I keep on forgetting to not let him back into my life. It sounds harsh I know, but I can not spend my days moping around (which has been happening lately again).  Every time he would talk to me  first, claiming that he was bored and with nothing to do. Stupid old me who really thought he has changed his ways, talks to him again. Topics ranged from boredom to music to what have you've been doing lately. And then there would be the daily phone calls and conversations. But when I thought that there might be an "us" again, there's always a girl. A couple of weeks of misleading, the conversation of "what the hell should I do about this girl I like" arises. And every time I'm "expected" to offer advice. It's really smart of him to ask for love advice when I have no advice or love-life. Really smart. I don't hate him. But I surely don't appreciate how I'm always sought after when he's bored and has no current love interest, uses me, goes all confused about what he should do with a girl he likes and then never speak to me until he's bored again. According to my understandings, he's been in "love" or seems to have more experience in the dating realm than me. This time I'm not as frustrated with him because I was busy thinking about someone else.
    Right now I'm not particularly happy about that someone else. For the past weeks I've been moping around and getting frequent headaches. The moping comes from missing him and the headaches come from thinking about him. Thinking what the hell he is doing.
    Yesterday I sent him a text but he never bothered to reply to my question. Nor did he bother to call. I spent today thinking if he was busy, if he doesn't care, if he doesn't like me at all. Spending the day in constant doubt can put anyone in a shitty mood.
    What should I do? Continue to wait with this constant pain in the heart or give up on him? I wish I could talk to him about it. But it seems like there's never time to spend any time with him alone. We were suppose to spend time last Saturday when he got back from orientation. He wanted to get coffee. I was so excited that Thursday he asked me. We didn't set a time and place yet, so I tried everything to get in contact with him. I facebook instant messaged him, called him, and then sent him a text. What did I get in return? A simple text saying that we can't meet and that I'll see him at a friend's party that following Monday. You know what that means? Means I won't be able to talk to him at all because the whole night we would be surrounded with friends.
    My supposedly best friend did the most ridiculous thing that Sunday. The whole time I was thinking "Isn't she suppose to be my best friend?" I've been asking the same question the past year, every time when I try to think of something she did that made her seem like my best friend, I couldn't think of any. She specifically knows that I like this guy, yet on Sunday she claimed that she didn't get him a Christmas present. So after we bought the present that was for the part on Monday, she decided to buy clothes for him. I found the whole concept of her buying someone something completely absurd. Because out of all the people she still owed a Christmas present to, she just happened to be in the mood to buy one for him. Especially the "best friend", me, is stilling waiting for one. The "best friend" me is also waiting for my birthday present, but that doesn't concern me much since I gave up on giving her one. But to spend a good hour picking out gift for a guy that her "best friend" likes is ridiculous when she never even considered buying the person in front of her one. And she has the nerves to keep on repeating the fact that she should buy him a nice polo shirt because she didn't get him anything. Well I hope she feels guilty because not only she didn't bother to give her "best friend" me the Christmas present she claimed to have bought me, she didn't even pay for her half of the present we got for him on his birthday, or pay for the present she got one of our friend for Christmas.
    I understand the occasional forgetting to repay someone back, but it's seems a little intentional after like 3 years of doing the act. Especially when someone has the money to repay someone back. And I know she knows that she owes me money because she said "Oh, next time you come to Canada with me I'll pay for everything." It does sound sincere, but thinking more in depth into it it's just a lie like all the others she has told.
    It's scary when I come to think about our whole friendship. After reflecting it seems like I've been taken advantage of. Would a true friend do that to you let alone a "best friend" that you spend a lot of time with. And the last half of senior year I was pissed off a lot because this "best friend" continually asked me for favors and questions that she could have easily done and found out by herself. But no, she has to call her friend while she is in the middle of doing something. And this friend doesn't turn her down because she actually thinks that that is what friends do for each other. So busy me go out of my away, put everything on hold to help her. I am happy to help out my friends in anyway, but to call me when she knows I'm clearly sleeping to ask me a simple question that she could've found out on our teacher's website really does get on my nerves after a while.
    I have so much grudge and unhappiness towards her I have no idea how I'm going to survive another year of college with her. She is still a friend to me but I'm just so sick of being used, the constant sarcasm, and the evil stare when we are eating. I think she secretly has this insane jealousy of me being thinner than her. It's not my fault that she doesn't do any exercise or sports. Then she goes around resenting me when I offer her food. Seriously I have no idea how I'm going to survive college. That's why when people ask me am I excited, I'm not really that enthusiastic about it.

This has been an insane update. But it was much needed seeing as to how I have no where else to vent or no one to talk to. Yeah, I have friends (with loads of sarcasm).

To my fellow BCCC family:
I <3 U GUYS AND MISS U GUYS SO MUCH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T.T This year has been so much fun and so many memories were made...not to mention kodak moments XD.
Summer of '06:
-Seeing old friends and new friends
-Kids r annoying and so full of drama
-Camping!!! Even though I didn't stay up all night because I'm one of the normal people that sleeps, it was still fun to hear about what happened at night...like the all night MJ-ing,a certain loner going to the beach at night, the revenge of the village people with their weapons (damn ppl. from the other campsite), suggesting to give the rude drunk ppl. swirlies, girls tent (PMS-ing all around =D),the different cooks and helpers, how me and merry gathered more woods than the guys did, volleyball (spiking frenzie! >=]), beach volleyball, CUP NOODLES~!!!, Jay Chou song playing on stereo, Jamil and his Ipod, cold toilet seats >_<, pasta *puke*, guys in the girls tent and girls in the guys tent...*sigh* so fun X]
-Last Day: Kodak moments everywhere~!, camera flashes @.@, kids racing, presents yay~!, everyone killing tim and michael
-Mee Chan's house: MJ, movie on sia's laptop, over crowded on the couch during the movie and during the group photo, 20 cameras >_<, watching the breast cancer movie in the car and finishing it later lol, hugs all around (feelin' the love XD), PILLOW~!
-Teen Night: First of all I'm cool because I had to leave early...not lame -_-', wow people can do anything to win, "We use colgate"..."No we use Crest"..."Dude we've always used Colgate" LOL~!, "Would you like to lick your elbow for us again?", "Daisy doesn't have a cellphone!" *a crowded charges towards me*, and it's a Teen Night there has got to be some DDR-ing =D
-Dim Sum and GT: people comign late so we ate without them, "Are you sure you want to sit next to Lawrence?", "That's ok, we'll make Lawrence stand if too many people show up!", "Churng Fan" and "Jia Leung", sneaking Gatorade in, rude waiter, "wow this tea tastes like shit", being peer pressured to go, got ditch by some people *cough*, racing games, packs of old people who got off of work, laser tag (i'm 2nd place), and say the final bye and hugs
And the reoccuring memory:
Law: "Wo Ai Ni"
Girl: "Eww or I hate you or Wo bu ai ni" or flips him off or kicks him or hurt him or threaten to kill him

Law: "Wo Ai Ni"
Some Guys: "Eww No"
Tony: "I love you too" *stares at him w/ a creepy look on his face*

ROFL... I love you guys...it's like ur family to me =]...i miss u guys ...c u guys next summer (maybe) or during vacation =]

and yea school sucks...the only thing that would make school a better place would be if all the BCCC people go to the same school XD

tagged by cindy...Instructions: Name 10 of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick 10 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative; try not to use things that someone else has already used
1) Hanging out with those i missed most during summer
2) Having fun with people who i consider family more than friends becuz they r that important...it's still fun to be w/ them in a hundred degrees weather *cough* today *cough*
3)having friends and family
4) bonding w/ parents thru soaps instead of the other lame stuff we could do instead...like  going shopping together or doing something "fun"
5)exchanging azn music w/ my friends becuz i'm like that =P
6)yelling and being able to punish kids jus for the heck of it XD
7)getting paid finally =]
8) being able to go camping
9)being healthy...or at least think i'm healthy
10)skool does not start for another month...gives me sometime to enjoy the rest of the summer w/ the bccc crew and not doing anything

yay~! i'm going camping =D! my first time going camping w/ the bccc crew...we're gonna hav so much fun...three days of eating, playing badminton/volleyball/wutever other things they'll bring, swimming (even though i dun kno how to), sleeping, play mj w/ sze nga's minature set, and hav loads of fun

sunday was so fun went to aunt mai's house and did nothing but eat, play basketball (around the world and came so close to winning if eugene didn't make that last short before me >=O), play badminton (which was fun considering that the rackets were kiddie sized), played on the laptop, and watched the simpsons, mulan (in spanish), and that special on E!...that was fun

Fuuniest thing that happened in uncle Ig's office w/ eugene:
Me: Let's hav a burping contest!
Eugene: *shakes head and drinks some of his Sprite*
Me: Fine...*switches channels*
Eugene: * a freakishly loud burp*...I win~!
Me: But u shook ur head and said no to the competition...
Eugene: there is no competition becuz i won...LOL
Both: started laughing
i guess u had to be there...not funny if u weren't there...or maybe we're jus lame >_>'....i hope not <_<'''''

yea...hav so much more to say but dun hav enough time...going to the aquarium tomorrow...probably gonna end up walking around the gift shop for an hour becuz there's really nuthing to do there...at least there's ac there =]